Second Best
by SisiDraig
Summary: Vince is used to being number one but when his older brother arives will he be pushed into the background? - Why do I bother with a summary? They're always rubbish! Eventual possible unrequited Howince.
1. Chapter 1

Bright colours, fluorescent clothes, loud electro beats, glitter, girls, guys, fashion; it was heaven for Vince Noir. Everyone loved him and he was a king.

And that's the way it had always been for as long as anyone could remember. Whether Vince was naturally popular like back at the zoo, or whether he worked hard to discover the next big thing like now, he was always number one.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me. I've been playing Jazz for the last ten minutes and you haven't complained once."

"Have you? I didn't even notice it."

"Aren't you going to tell me to turn it off?"

"No, leave it, it's alright."

Howard nearly fell off his chair in shock. "What?" he spluttered. "What about your allergies?"

"It's fine."

"Okay, this must be serious. What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Vince!"

"I'm fine."

"I know you better than that. I don't believe you."

"Fine, don't believe me." and with that Vince Noir stomped up the stairs to the flat leaving Howard to wonder what had happened to the supposed sunshine kid.

When Howard found Vince later on that afternoon, he was feverishly sewing more sequins onto his glitter ball suit.

"Surely, that's already glittery enough." he said.

"It needs to be better." Vince answered distantly as he frantically sewed.

"Why?"

"Because _his_ will be better."

"Who?"

"_Him. _My stupid damn brother."

"Oh. Him."

"Yes, him. He's coming to visit."

"I don't understand why he gets to you so much."

"You don't get it though, do you? You don't know what's it like to grow up always being second best. You don't know what it's like to be in someone's shadow all the time."

"Trust me. I know exactly what that's like." Howard frowned at the bitter irony in Vince's words. "I just don't let it bother me and you shouldn't either."

"But I've managed to make something of myself here. I'm popular, my party's are legendary and my hair is the talk of Shoreditch."

"So, he'll be second best."

"But he won't. He'll swoop in and take everything. That's why I've got to make this glitter ball suit better. He won't have one of these. There's only one in the whole world, Jean Claude Jaquettie made it especially for me."

"Well, there you are then." Howard said, "He won't have one and you can show him how much better you are."

"Yeah. He won't have one."

He did have one brighter and shinier than his younger brother's. Vince saw it as soon as he stepped out of the taxi and the electro poof swore loudly.

"What?" Howard asked from the counter.

"The little… look," he scowled, pointing in the direction of his glitter ball suit clad brother. "he's got _my _outfit on."

Howard got up and moved stiffly to look out the window just in time to see the older Noir brother, signing copies of Cheekbone for two giggling girls.

"Unbelievable, he's been here five minutes and he's already on the front cover."

"Don't let it bother you Vince. Be more like me, someone at the Jazz club is better than me at scatting but do I let it bother me? I do not sir."

"Was that the one who had an allergic reaction to that crab soup you made them all?"

"No." Howard blushed.

"It was!"

"Well, I didn't know he was allergic to crustaceans, did I?"

"Yes you did. You'd said about it a couple of weeks ago."

"Shut up." Howard frowned. Vince laughed like a hyper child but the laughter died immediately when the bell on the shop door rang and a voice said;

"What's the joke little brother?"

"Alright Gary." was the sullen greeting.

"Yeah, I'm genius! Have you seen cheekbone?"

"No." Vince sulked.

"They've done a cover shoot on my hair. It's gonna be hairstyle of the month in the next issue."

"But _I'm _always hairstyle of the month."

"Not anymore then, eh Vincent."

"Don't call me that." The younger of the two brothers grumbled moodily.

"It's your name."

"I don't care every one calls me Vince now. Vince Noir, rock and roll star."

"Ha. More like Vince Noir, no one knows who you are."

"Get lost Gary!" Vince scowled, as he took his place behind the counter, drawing Howard to Gary's attention for the first time. Suddenly, a smug grin spread across the older Noir's face.

"Howard Moon. Still putting up with irritating brother then, are you? You are a saint."

"Well…" Howard blushed slightly.

"You still pioneering the Jazzfunk movement?"

"Yes I am. As a matter of fact I've got an exhibition of my finest tracks tomorrow evening at the Jazz club."

"Wow! Things are going really well for you then."

"Yes, sir. You should come tomorrow Gary, you could be my plus one."

"Brilliant."

"What?" cried Vince from his side. "I thought _I _was your plus one."

"Yeah." Howard said apologetically, "About that Vince. You see the thing is, Gary really understands fast bebop to all it's intricate depths and you... well you're like a glittery bauble, nice to look at but empty inside."

"I am not a bauble and _he_ doesn't understand bebop at all!" Vince shouted, "He'll be just as bored at your pointless little jazz thing as I will!"

"Pointless little jazz thing?"

"Oh… Sorry Howard. I didn't mean. It's just…"

"Well, I'm sorry I bore you."

"Oh don't be like this."

"But at least you won't be _bored_ tomorrow because I'm taking you off the guest list."

"But…"

"Is that your suitcase Gary?" Howard asked turning back to the older of the Noir brothers.

"Yeah." he said, indicating a purple case with glittery starts plastered all over it.

"It's very nice."

"What?!" Vince screeched, "I've got exactly the same case and you said it was a eye sore."

"Yes, well Gary seems to carry it off with some panache."

"Pa- what?"

"Style."

"_I'm_ stylish!"

Howard gave him a disbelieving look before heaving the suitcase up the stairs followed by Gary, who was trying to convince him that he was named after Gary Numan, though everyone knew that he was too old for that to be true.

Vince kicked the counter with his pointy shoes. Why? Why did Gary have to come and visit now, just when everything was going so great? Why did he have to come and remind him of his humble beginnings in South London? Vince had enjoyed telling the tales of his upbringing in the jungles of India. He enjoyed talking about his step dad Brian Ferry. It hadn't mattered that he'd never actually met Brian Ferry or been to India.

He heard the sound of laughter trickling down the stairs and upbeat tones of… that had better not be crimping. If Howard was crimping with Gary, Vince was going to kick off.

They were crimping and Vince was in mid leap, about to pull all of Gary's precious black locks from his skull when Bollo caught him and dropped him ungraciously onto the hard floor, muttering something about protecting 'precious Gary'.

_Unbelievable_, Vince groaned internally as he got to his feet dusting off his clothes. Gary had been there a total of four minutes and it was already as though Vince didn't exist. It was just like when they were kids.

--

"_And it's the final of the School's singing competition and it's come down to an all Noir final." cried a pretty, blonde girl named Katie, who'd taken on the job of presenter. Vince reckoned he loved her. He was only fifteen but he was pretty sure she was the one. They liked the same music, they had the same shampoo, they watched the same TV programmes, they were made for each other. He just knew it. _

"_First up… is Vincent Noir." ("Vince. It's Vince." Vince muttered under his breath.) "And he's going to be singing Together in Electric Dreams."_

_The school hall cheered and on he walked. It went brilliantly. He hit every note. He pulled some fantastic shapes. Pencil, question mark made of cheese, side panel of a tractor. He was on metaphorical fire. As he reached the end of the song, the entire hall rose to their feet. A standing ovation. A standing ovation! He was sure to win now. He'd like to see Gary beat that._

"_Wow. That was… amazing." Katie smiled at him as he walked backstage. "Maybe we'll go for a milkshake after the show."_

"_Yeah, definitely." Vince beamed back._

"_Cool."_

_"Cool."_

_Vince watched as Katie disappeared through the curtain and waited until he heard bell-like her voice echo over the tanoy system. "Next up. It's Gary Noir with 'Cars'."_

_Gary strolled on stage and everyone shot to their feet whooping and cheering like they'd never seen anything so brilliant before in their lives. Vince's brain cell screamed with fury. Gary had managed to get a standing ovation before he'd even started and the audience didn't sit down throughout the entire song. They danced around trying to copy Gary as he pulled wilder, more elaborate shapes than Vince could even dream of. As the song faded, the kids went mad, leaping up and down and screaming with delight._

_After waiting countless minutes for the excitable kids to stop cheering and sit down, Katie spoke again. _

_"I think there's a clear winner." she grinned. "Everyone please make some noise for Gary Noir!"_

_If anything the cheering was louder and more deafening this time. Vince kicked wildly at a nearby speaker and returned to his dressing room feeling thoroughly dejected. He'd worked really hard on this. He'd practiced for weeks and weeks. He knew for a fact Gary had had one rehearsal last night in front of their parents. How did everything come so easy to him? It wasn't fair!_

"_Vince." called a soft voice through the door._

_Katie. He still had his date with Katie. It wasn't a completely wasted afternoon._

"_Vince. I just thought you should know, I'm going to get a milkshake with Gary instead. Maybe we'll do something next week. Yeah?"_

_He was pretty sure he died whilst she was talking to him. She'd broken his heart and he was 99% sure you couldn't live without a heart. He wanted to scream and yell about how utterly unfair it all was, about how he would be better for her than Gary ever would but all he did was call back;_

"_Yeah. Have fun." in a tone of forced cheeriness._

_That evening Gary brought Katie back to their house for tea and introduced her to their parents as 'my new girlfriend'. Vince just stood up and, announcing he was tired, went to his bedroom to punch a pillow and cry. In the back of his mind all he could think was how he'd lost his first love to his brother._

_--_

As he watched Gary and Howard arguing playfully over whether Gary Numan or Weather Report were better, Vince felt the same empty, hurt feeling wash over him as he had all those years ago and, just like back then, he sought out the comfort of his room.

"**ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!**"

Howard and Gary looked up. Howard reacted first and ran to his and Vince's shared bedroom.

"Vince? What's wrong?"

"What's this?" he asked, pointing a trembling finger at a purple glitter star case, which had taken up residence on his bed.

"It's Gary's case."

"I know _what_ it is!" Vince snapped irritably. "Why is it on _my _bed?"

"Well, he's our guest! I assumed he'd have your bed and you'd sleep on the sofa."

"No!" Vince cried. "He can sleep on the bloody sofa."

"Don't you think you're over reacting just a little bit."

"No I do not!" Vince was furious. His fists were clenched tight and was shaking with anger, his blue eyes were dark and narrow, his brow furrowed. For the first time Howard thought that the beautiful Vince Noir looked ugly.

"Vince, just calm down."

"I am calm!" He's not. "But I'm not letting him get away with this. He steals everything from me."

"Like what?"

"Katie! You! Bollo! And now my bed."

"Firstly; who's Katie?"

Vince blushed, "Doesn't matter" he muttered.

"Secondly, he's not stealing me."

"He is!"

"He's not. You're my best friend Vince."

"You say that now." the younger man replied bitterly.

"And I mean it. Howard and Vince, all the way. Yes?"

Vince nodded, sniffing a bit.

"Okay. Now, if you want your bed so much, you can have yours, Gary can have mine and I'll sleep on the sofa, okay?"

"No, it's fine. I'll sleep on the sofa."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Vince sighed.

"Right. Can I go?"

Vince nodded, blushing a little. He felt stupid now. Just as the older man reached the door Vince called his name.

"Yes, little man?"

"I'm sorry. I think I did over react a bit. It's just a suitcase on a bed, right?"

"Exactly. Now, can I go? Me and Gary are going to have a Satsuma fight in our vests and pants."

Vince's eyebrows knitting together and he growled in a way that sounded disturbingly like a green acquaintance of theirs; "But that's _our _thing."

"I know, but Gary thinks he's got a better technique for it and Howard Moon likes to keep an open mind. I'm willing to try anything."

"You never try anything that I want to do."

"Well, maybe Gary's a little more persuasive than you."

Suddenly Vince screamed, loud and long like a dying banshee. The noise was still ringing through the flat when Vince had gone, slamming the front door behind him.

"What was that about?" Gary asked a startled Howard.

"I really don't know."

As Vince ran away from the house, his feet pounding on the grey pavement, all he could think of was how he'd lost his best friend to his brother.


	2. Chapter 2

"_Vincent!"_

"_It's Vince."_

"_Right, Vince. That coat is… words don't even cover it. It's amazing, so fashionable, so long and… swishy."_

"_Thanks."_

_"No, really." cried someone else, "where did you get it?"_

"_Erm, I don't give away my secrets."_

"_Awww, Vincent!"_

_"Vince."_

_"Sorry, Vince, please tell us."_

_"No, but you can bask in it's reflective glory if you like." he grinned, twirling so that the deep green coat swished out around him, gaining a gasp of adoration from his fans._

_Then; "Oh my god! Look at Gary!" And it was over. All of Vince's 'fans' dropped him like, well, last weeks fashion and went to crowd his brother, marvelling at his stupid blue coat, with it's more fashionable design and it's better swishing abilities._

_Vince felt suddenly abandoned. The empty air seemed to freeze as it closed in around him. He tightly wrapped his second rate coat around his shoulder and shivered._

"_Hi."_

_Vince span around and saw a tall gangly boy, with the beginnings of a moustache appearing on his upper lip, shuffling awkwardly from one foot to the other._

"_What the hell are you looking at?" Vince snapped angrily._

"_I… I just thought… never mind." The boy looked down at the floor and blushed, "Sorry." he mumbled as he quickly walked off._

_Vince watched him go. He walked like somebody whose shoulders were too heavy for his body, all slumped and hunched over. He was a nerd and a freak and Vince was way too good to be seen with him. So, he looked around for his 'friends' but everyone was still obsessing over Gary's coat. He sighed as the sad realisation hit him, this weird, nerd of a boy was the only person in the entire school who wanted to talk to him._

"_Hey." Vince suddenly called, running after the tall boy. "Hey, wait up."_

_--_

Vince shuddered at the memory.

"Oh my god! It's you!" somebody shouted, walking up to the bench. Vince looked up to see a fashionable girl, with purple highlights and a brightly coloured outfit.

"Oh, sorry." apologised the girl, "I thought you were Gary."

"Argh!" Vince leapt up and pushed her out of his way roughly as he stormed off. He didn't really know where he was going. He marched on auto-pilot until he found himself outside the Nabootique. He sighed. He really didn't want to go in but it would be strange to get all the way here and then just go to the pub. However, as soon as he stepped through the door, he wished desperately that he had gone somewhere else.

"Don't touch me." Howard's northern voice floated down the stairs.

"Oh but Howaaaaaaard." Gary whined.

"But Howard nothing. Don't ever touch me." But Vince knew that tone in his voice, it was the tone that meant he didn't really mean what he was saying. Vince stalked into the living room he found the most unusual sight, his brother virtually man handling his best friend as the two struggled on the sofa for the final Satsuma.

"Ah-hem." Vince cleared his throat loud enough to break into the little world Gary and Howard had built up for themselves. "Am I disturbing something?"

"Not at all little brother." Gary beamed, lifting himself from the sofa and ruffling Vince's hair, as he strolled confidently to the kitchen; "D'you want a cuppa?"

"Please. Ten sugars."

"Ten?" scoffed Gary, "Is that all?" he turned to wink almost flirtatiously at Howard "I take mine with eleven."

Vince clenched his fists tight and his jaw tightened. It took every ounce of self-control not to punch Gary in the face right there and then.

"You okay?" Howard asked when Gary had left the room.

"I'm fine." lied Vince, flopping down on the sofa next to his friend. Vince knew what was coming next. Howard would explain how he knew him better than that and that if he didn't explain what was wrong then he'd come at him like a combine harvester, or a jumbo jet, or a brick wall on wheels or… something. But what he actually said was;

"Okay."

Vince looked at Howard in disbelief for a second and then choked;

"Well, I'm not _actually _fine."

"Don't tell me you are then."

"I always tell you I am and then you…" Vince spotted the blank look on Howard's face and sighed "never mind."

"So, what's wrong?"

"It's Gary, he's such…"

"Hold it right there, sir." Howard cut in, "I wont have a word said against a great man such as Gary."

"He's not a great man, he's a cock. You said it yourself when you first saw him."

"I don't believe I did, sir."

"You did! It was in school."

"No, I don't remember that at all."

"Then you're so old you've got Alzheimer's."

"Don't talk daft. I just don't remember the first time I saw Gary."

Vince remembered. Vince remembered it as one of the few happy times in his childhood.

--

"_So, what's your name?"_

"_Howard Moon, jazz maverick."_

_Vince had had to fight hard not to stand up from the canteen table and march away to find the next big thing before Gary came and bloody stole it._

_"Cool." he grimaced, "mines…"_

_"Vincent, I know."_

"_Vince actually."_

_"Oh, okay."_

_There'd been an awkward silence then, which had dragged on and on and on until Vince blurted out;_

"_So, you like Jazz?" Anything to stop the silence._

"_Yeah." Howard's eyes had lit up. "Do you?"_

_"No."_

_The light went out and the silence returned._

"_What music do you like?" Howard had said eventually._

"_Electro. David Bowie really. But I like Rolling Stones as well. Jagger is a legend. And Gary Numan. Numan's genius. He's a pop star __**and **__he's got a pilots license. Imagine that! A pop star __**and **__a pilot. Numan's the best."_

_Then he looked at Howard. The taller boy was gazing back with a bemused expression, which Vince would learn to get used to. It was a look that said; I haven't got a clue what you just said but it really doesn't matter. Vince blushed a little._

"_Sorry," he said coyly, "I got a bit carried away."_

"_It's okay." Howard smiled at him, a warm genuine smile. Not a smile because he wanted to know where Vince had bought his coat or a smile because he wanted to know what the next hip sound was going to be but a smile that just said, 'let's be friends'._

_Vince had flashed a toothy grin back, which had said 'okay'. Howard had thought he was going to be blinded until a loud crash in the doorway of the canteen had caught everyone's attention. It was Gary. He was being stalked by a large group of eager followers._

"_Oh God, who does he think he is? Jesus?" Howard had muttered to himself but if no one else had heard it, Vince had. And suddenly he leapt at Howard. hugging him tight._

"_Woah. Watch it there. Don't touch me."_

"_Sorry." Vince blushed, going back to sit in his own chair._

"_S'ok little man. It's okay."_

--

"Thanks little man." Howard said as he took the mug of coffee from Gary and that was it; the final straw. Gary had taken everything. At least when they were kids Howard had seen Gary as a loser but now he was a sucker for the older Noir brother's charm, just like every other idiot in the world.

Vince didn't register what he was doing until he was poking Gary in the chest and screaming at him. He'd lost it. That much was clear. His eyes were wild and his voice was strained and hoarse, partly from the screaming and partly from the massive lump that was rising quickly in his throat.

"I hate you!" he screeched over and over again. "I hate you so much. Why did you have to come here? Why did you have to ruin everything? Why d'you have to have everything I have?"

"Vincent." Gary said, half laughing half terrified.

"It's VINCE!" Vince screamed, shoving him hard so that he fell backwards into a wall.

"Fine, Vince, Vince."

"What!?"

"Calm down mate."

"I" -poke- "am" -poke- "not" -poke- "your" -poke- "mate!"

"Alright, alright. I tell you what, you carry on like this you'll be off to the loony bin."

"SHUT UP!" Vince balled his fists up in Gary's shirt and smashed him against the wall. "SHUT! UP!"

"Come on, Howard," Gary squeaked, looking desperately at the other man. "Help me."

"Vince." Howard started, getting up from the sofa.

"Don't take his side!" Vince cried, his head snapping around to glare at Howard. His eyes were burning with tears. "Don't you _dare _take his side!" Howard took a step away nervously and as he did, Vince felt a punch of reality to the stomach. A tear rolled down his cheek slowly; "Please." he begged quietly. "Please."

"Okay." Howard said, very calmly moving forwards and pulling Vince gently away from Gary. "Okay, calm down."

"B-but… he's taking my life away." Vince sobbed, lolling his forehead against Howard's shoulder.

"Shhh." Howard soothed, rubbing his hand over Vince's back (in a masculine, man of action, way). "No one's trying to take your life away."

"You don't believe me either!" Vince suddenly screamed, trying to push Howard away but the older man was stronger and held him still. "He's brainwashing you." Vince whispered, carrying on as though Gary wasn't stood just meters away carefully checking his vest for any permanent damage.

"No one's…"

"He is." Vince cut in insistently. He raised his hand to Howard's cheek slowly, eyes flicking over every line on the older man's face, taking in everything he could. He whispered; "Please Howard. I can't cope if you abandon me for him too."

"Abandon? Vince, what are you talking about?"

"Back in school, he took everything I had… everything, except you but now he's taking you too. He always does it, he takes everything I have."

"Vince. You're being ridiculous."

"No!" Vince virtually yelled. "No! No, I'm not!" He started taking steps backwards away from Howard. He was shaking his head manically, as though he refused to believe what he heard. And suddenly, he was running. His feet pounded on the stairs as he crashed and tripped down them. He staggered along the pavement, tears crippling him as he tried to escape from what was behind him.

Howard went to follow his friend but Gary put a hand on his shoulder.

"Leave it." he said quietly. "Vince prefers to be left alone when he's like this."

Howard wasn't so sure but he sighed. Gary _was _Vince's brother, maybe he knew better and anyway, he didn't really want to chase his friend down the road wearing just vest and pants. Who knew what the neighbours would say, or the moon for that matter? So he just sat down on the sofa. Gary smiled warmly at him and Howard returned it uncertainly. He wasn't sure what was going on. For the first time in his life he didn't understand Vince but at least Gary was there to help him through. It was then he realised he was staring at Gary, wandering around the room in that painful glitter ball suit. He was so much like Vince, the way his hair fell around his shoulders and the brightness of his eyes, though Gary's were green. There was something almost feminine about the way he was stood at this moment and Howard found he couldn't tear his eyes away, until...

"Like what you see, Moon?"

Howard jumped violently and dropped his head, staring directly at his corduroy- clad knees. "Sorry." he mumbled and Gary smirked. He had him. The thing that defined Vince above all others was now Gary's.


	3. Chapter 3

Vince pulled his knees to his chest. He needed to make himself smaller, he didn't want people to see him. He wanted to disappear. This was where he used to hide as a kid, under the bridge, with the water dripping down over him, his clothes, his face, his hair. This is the place he'd come when the world seemed dark. He hadn't been here for years. Not since he'd met Howard. People may think Vince was the one full of sunshine but it had always been Howard who's given him his sunshine. He wasn't even sure his friend knew about this place. Another large, black mouse (Vince didn't like to believe he was surrounded by rats) scurried across the floor a few foot away.

He was hurting now. He felt sick and what was worse was that, as he'd run, something had began to occur to him that was making him crumble like a Hobnob. It seemed to have taken his poor brain cell an age to fathom everything he was feeling deep inside but as he slumped against the damp wall, tears streaming down his cheeks, his brain cell popped up with some terrifying home truths.

"_Vince, I've had Secretary-Vince have a chat with your heart and apparently you love Howard… and Chelsea boots. Yeah, him and Chelsea boots, in that order. Sorry it's taken us so long to figure it out Vince but there's been a lot of fashion trends to keep up with and now you're not bothering with them anymore, well, we've got more time for thinking… like, did you know that no word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple? Or there is a law in France against selling dolls without human faces? Or that in China…"_

But Vince wasn't listening to his brain cell anymore. He'd switched off as soon as he'd heard the magic words that suddenly made his life make sense; _and apparently you love Howard… you love Howard. Howard. Howard_. Howard.

--

"_Who's that a picture of?"_

_"John Coltrane."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because he's cool."_

_"Why is he cool?"_

"_He's a jazz musician."_

"_So he ain't cool then."_

"_He is."_

"_He ain't. Numan, he's cool."_

"_I'm beginning to think you don't know any other musicians."_

"_Bowie."_

"_Apart from those two."_

"_I know loads, shut up Howard."_

_The older boy smiled and sat down in his arm chair. Vince was sprawled out across his bed, a couple of glossy magazines spread out around him. The young wannabe electro-prince had managed to adopt this position as 'his' place in Howard's room. Howard didn't mind, it just meant his bed smelt of summer and fruits and fun. They went to Howard's house everyday after school and just talked, laughed and recently they'd even invented an entirely new form of music they'd named 'crimping'. It was perfect._

"_Howard?" Vince asked, munching his way through a bag of sweets._

"_Yes Vince?"_

_"If you were swallowed whole by a monster, would you be able to live in his stomach?"_

_"I, well, if I… what?"_

_"Well, think about it. It would be warm in there, and there'd be plenty of food and drink. It might be like a little paradise. Especially if you were swallowed alive with someone you liked."_

"_You're crazy."_

_Vince gave a small smiled and flicked over the page of his magazine._

"_Hmm, maybe." Then a second later; "Howard?"_

"_Yes, Vince?"_

"_If I were going to be swallowed whole with anybody, I'd want it to be you."_

_Howard had caught Vince's eye then, the younger boy smiled sheepishly and went back to idly flicking the pages of his magazine again. Just as Howard was about to say something deep and sentimental, Vince screamed, pointed at the page and yelled;_

"_What has Bryan Ferry done to his hair?" _

_And just like that, the moment was gone._

_--_

Howard looked at his watch. It had been almost three hours since Vince had gone, the time he spent with Gary just seemed to fly by. They'd been watching a film or at least Gary had been watching it. Howard had been spending the entire time trying not to reach out and touch Gary's perfect face or to blurt out that he was in love with him. He was sure by now that that was what this feeling was. His stomach seemed to flip like a pancake, when Gary leant in and rested his head against Howard's shoulder. The older man tensed nervously.

"You okay?" Gary asked quietly, snuggling further into Howard's chest.

"Yes." he squeaked.

"You sure?" Gary asked, lifting his head to pierce Howard's eyes with his own, luminous green ones. Howard nodded and swallowed. Gary saw the bob of the other man's Adam's apple and licked his lips, as though it were a real apple and he were Adam. Howard's eyes flicked to Gary's lips and thousands of delicious thoughts started to flood his brain, drowning him in sweet delirium.

"Do you want to _kiss_ me… Howard?" Gary whispered, shuffling along the sofa so that every part of them was touching. Howard couldn't trust himself to speak. His throat was painfully dry and it hurt to swallow but he managed to nod gently. Gary's face cracked into a grin that was both ugly and beautiful at the same time but before Howard had time to think anything more of it, he had another pair of lips pressed against his own and it felt good.

When Gary pulled away, Howard found he was gasping for breath.

"You like that Howard?"

Howard nodded again, his eyes widening as Gary moved his lips to Howard's neck, kissing and nipping.

"How about that?" More nodding.

"D'you _want_ me Howard?"

"Mh-hmm." Howard mumbled against Gary's lips. "I love you." He gasped. This was love, he was sure of it. He loved Gary and he had to tell him.

"Good." nodded Gary, nipping slightly at Howard's earlobe. "Very good."

Slowly, Gary slipped his fingers through the buttonhole of Howard's shirt and deftly began to undo each one.

"Gary?"

"Yeah?" Gary asked between kisses that he was now pressing all over Howard's bare chest.

"I don't… I mean… I'm, I…"

"Come on Howard, spit it out."

"I've never done this before."

"First time with a guy?"

"Something like that."

"Look, it's okay just follow my lead."

"Right, yeah, with a guy… but I don't know if I'm ready."

"Don't be ridiculous Howard. You're ready."

"I'm not sure."

"_I'm _sure." Gary pressed, pushing the shirt from Howard's shoulders. Howard shuddered as Gary pulled at his belt.

"What about Vince?!" Howard suddenly blurted out, when things seemed to be moving just a little too fast.

"What about Vince?" Gary whined, he didn't want to here about his pain in the arse little brother now, when he was so close to achieving what he'd come here for.

"He's been gone ages, d'you think we should look for him?"

"He's a big boy Howard. He can look after himself." Gary smiled at Howard and his green eyes flashed, as he pinned Howard onto the sofa and began to kiss him again.

Suddenly, Howard decided he didn't really like green eyes and Gary would look better if those eyes were… blue. But Howard was to caught up in the kissing to engage his brain in anymore thinking than; "Gary loves me."

--

"_I. love. You."_

"_That's very sweet Vince."_

"_You're so handsome."_

"_And you're so drunk."_

"_I'm not __**that **__drunk!"_

_"Stop shouting then."_

_"I'm not shouting. You are."_

_"I can assure you I'm not, sir."_

_"Shhhhhhh." Vince pressed a finger messily to Howard's lips. "Shh, Howard. You'll wake someone."_

"_I've got the house to myself."_

"_I thought we were at my house."_

"_No, we're at my house because you're too drunk to go home. I rang your parents and told them you were sleeping over mine."_

"_Aww, Howard. You're my best friend."_

"_Mmm." smiled the older boy, as he pulled Vince to his feet and helped him to stagger through to his bedroom, allowing him to flop dramatically onto the bed._

_Vince lay, sprawled stretched across the bed and mumbled softly against the pillow._

"_I love you Howard, d'you love me?"_

"_Yes Vince. I love you."_

"_Night Howard."_

"_Night Vince." Howard smiled, pressing a kiss to his friends temple and tiptoeing from the room in silence. Howard crashed on the sofa and by the next morning, neither could remember anything about the night before._

_-------------_

Howard pushed through the darkness as though it was thick treacle. He felt weird, really weird, almost guilty. He'd been searching the streets for what felt like hours. Gary had refused to come out and help him look, he'd opted to stay at home and wait for them to return. Finally, Howard came across a homeless man sat under a bridge.

"Excuse me." he called, "Excuse me. Have you seen my friend?"

The man looked up.

"Vince?" he gasped, running to help his friend to his feet.

"Howard." Vince sobbed weakly, pressing his tear stained face against the older man's neck. "Howard, I'm so sorry."

"For what?"

"For thinking you'd choose Gary over me. I mean, we're best friends, right?"

"Right and we'll always be best friends but…"

"There's a 'but'?" Vince's face snapped up, his bloodshot eyes focusing on Howard's face. The older man was positively glowing, something really great must have happened. Vince hadn't seen him this happy since he'd worn that poncho back at the zoo.

"I'm in love." Howard beamed.

"Really?" Vince beamed. "Me too."

Howard frowned. "What?"

"I'm in love too."

"Vince. You're not in love."

"I am."

"You're not. Why do you always have to be what I am?"

"Well, surely this time it's better if we're both in love."

"Oh, you mean so neither of us gets jealous?"

"Well, I'm not the jealous type, not in relationships anyway."

"Well, you're not going to be jealous of my love, not unless you're into incest."

"Incest?" Vince blinked, pushing Howard away. "What are you talking about?"

"What are _you _talking about?"

"Gary."

Gary!?" Vince spluttered.

"Yeah, I'm in love with Gary."

"No. No." Vince shook his head, everything inside him was dying. His heart throbbed painfully as piece by piece it broke apart. He raised a hand to Howard's cheek and stroked his thumb over the soft skin. "No. Please. Howard, tell me you're joking, you can't love Gary."

"Why? Why is it so hard to believe that someone could love me?" Howard scowled, pushing Vince away hard, causing the younger man to stagger into the damp, cold wall.

"It's not hard to believe Howard. I know how easy it is to fall in love with you because I do it over and over every day."

"What?"

"Howard, I love you."

"No you don't."

"I do!" Vince cried.

"No, you just want what Gary has. You always have. He loves me, you're just saying it because you don't want him to have anything. You know Gary's a really great guy, you're just jealous and selfish, just like you were when we were kids."

"No." Vince wept, clutching at Howard's sleeve, "Please Howard. I love you."

"Get off me." Howard wrenched his arm away. Vince retched and fell to the cold floor. He didn't want to scream after Howard. He didn't want to cry himself into oblivion but, as Howard walked away from him, the only he could think of was how he'd lost his true love to his brother.

* * *

**Just in case anyone did wonder, the thing that would kill you if you were swallowed whole by a monster would be enzymes. It's not glamorous or interesting but it's true… I know this because I asked my biology teacher last year. Yes, she does think I'm weird.**

**I'm thinking of knocking this on the head soon, inspiration isn't really flowing for this one. =[. I'll see how it goes.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Sisi…xx**


	4. Chapter 4

"_Vincent."_

_"It's VINCE."_

"_Stop showing off in front of your friends."_

"_I'm not! I'm… sorry dad."_

"_Why can't you be more like your brother?"_

"_But it's not…"_

_"Vincent!"_

"_Sorry dad."_

"_So Howard."_

_"Yes, sir."_

"_You like football, son?"_

_"Umm, no."_

_"Rugby?"_

_"Umm, no sir."_

"_Oh, so what do you like?"_

_"Music, specifically jazz. I'm pioneering the jazz funk movement."_

"_Geek." coughed Gary, earning himself a hard kick in the shin from Vince._

_Gary's eyes flared but as soon as Howard looked at the older Noir brother, there was a sudden calm overtaking his face and he smiled sweetly. Vince smirked and shook his head but said nothing._

"_The jazz funk movement, you say?" continued Mr Noir, "Well, tell us about that."_

_"Aww, don't." Vince groaned, "It's so boring Howard. Tell them about our electro-jazz thing, that's much better."_

"_Oh right, well…"_

_"No, Howard." Gary smirked "Tell us about your jazz thing. No one wants to hear Vince's electro slant on anything."_

"_Yes, well…"_

"_Shut the hell up Gary, you're such a jerk!"_

"_Vincent!" This was his mother._

"_Tell him." moaned Vince, pointing at Gary. "He's being a knob."_

"_Vincent! Language!"_

"_What?" Vince asked, with faux-innocence, "I meant a doorknob."_

"_Vince, stop being cheeky. I don't know what's wrong with you"_

"_But Muuum, Gary's…"_

"_Gary hasn't done anything. I'm so sorry about this Howard. I bet it's not like this at your house, is it?"_

"_Well, no. Actually, I live on my own now."_

"_You do?"_

"_Yeah, he does!" shouted Vince, "And I'm moving in with him."_

"_What?" cried the Noir's in unison._

"_What?" hissed Howard in his ear._

"_Yeah, that's right. Weren't you just saying, the other day that it would be cool if I could move in?"_

_"Well, yes b-but…" Howard stammered nervously, caught between Mrs Noir's glare and Vince's bright, hopeful grin._

"_Have you been corrupting my son's mind?" Mr Noir cried, "Is it you that's lied to him about talking to animals and shaman's being real. He's always been a fantasist and I wondered where he got it from, I'd never have thought that you, Howard, were the cause behind it."_

"_You know, sir." Howard growled, getting suddenly to his feet. He'd grown a lot now and all but towered over Mr Noir. "Vince has got a wonderful, vibrant, beautiful imagination. He's got the ability to light up the room for everyone he meets. He's not weird and he's not a freak; he's unique. And, Gary's not the son you think he is, he's been kicking me in the shin for the last half an hour because he thought he was kicking Vince."_

_Gary's face dropped._

"_Come on Vince." Howard said, grabbing the younger boy's wrist, "let's leave." Vince had giggled and flashed the V's as Howard had dragged him from his family._

_Ever since then, when anyone asked him about his childhood, Vince launched into a longwinded story about jungles, leopards and Bryan Ferry._

_--_

A tear dropped sorrowfully off the photo. It was Vince's favourite photo, himself posing, as per usual, two thumbs up outside the zoo keepers hut. Howard stood next to him, arm around his shoulder, adopting a smug, self-important pose. Another salty droplet fell on to the picture and Vince sniffed, brushing his sleeve across his face. He dropped the photo into the shoe box and tucked the box carefully into his suitcase.

He'd been packing for over an hour now but no one had noticed. Bollo and Naboo were off on some shaman business (aka a booze up for some lame reason, like Saboo had bought a new potted plant) and Howard and Gary were playing the honeymoon couple, curled up on the sofa together, with Gary bossing Howard around as though he were the Queen of Sheba. Vince hated him, now more than ever. Gary didn't love Howard, anyone could see that. A blind man could see that, _Lester_ could see that, when he'd popped round after Howard had cancelled a jazz night because Gary had pouted and begged him to.

"What's that old fool doing Vincey?" Lester had asked the fridge.

Vince had answered, despite being the other side of the room.

"He thinks he's in love."

"He ain't in love and that sweet little Québécois Queen isn't going to love him. That's your job Vincey."

"I don't love him." He did though. He always would and that was what had made this so much harder.

"You should tell him your real feelings. Then, hot-diggety, you'd get yourself some jazz loving."

"He's made it clear he's not interested in me." Vince had scowled.

"But have you told him how you feel?"

"Yes, but he wouldn't listen."

"Then tell him again. Make him listen. What does it matter if you're never going to see him again?"

Lester's words had haunted Vince ever since and now that he was all packed and all his meaningless memories were stashed away in a glittery purple suitcase, Vince decided that maybe Lester was right.

He walked into the living room to find Gary reading a magazine and Howard nervously glancing over at him. He'd never seen Howard look so unsure of himself and Howard was in no way a confident man. Vince coughed loudly and as soon as Gary looked up and saw his broken little brother, he was all over Howard like a rash.

"I'm leaving." Vince virtually shouted, so that Howard would hear him over Gary's lip smacking.

"That's nice Vince." Howard gasped, flapping at him with a hand, "If you go past Costcutter pick me up some Oxo flavoured quavers please."

"No, I'm leaving… forever." Vince tried to make it seem dramatic and final and maybe it worked because Howard suddenly took interest, pushing Gary gently away from him.

"What d'you mean?" he asked, carefully eyeing the case.

"I'm going."

"Where?"

"I don't know where."

"Well, then don't be ridiculous, unpack and stay here."

"No."

"Come on, at least until you find yourself somewhere to live."

"Ignore him Howard." Gary groaned, as the older man stood up. "He used to run away all the time as a kid."

Vince nodded, staring at Howard his blue eyes startling. "I always used to come to yours, d'you remember? Then you'd let me hide in your room until I was ready to go home again."

"Of course I remember."

"Remember all the games we used to play?"

"Yeah." Howard smiled fondly.

"And the funny little songs we used to write."

"Yeah."

"And the ponchos in the zoo?"

"Of course, but Vince, why are you talking like this?"

"Monkey hell and meeting Bryan Ferry and that weird green man. And then there's this flat? Remember moving in here… that was a good day. Our escape to Black Lake, stranded on a tropical island, battling the crack fox. Good times."

"Great times. But why are you bringing all this up now?"

"Well, I don't know when I'll see you next."

"Oh for God sake Vince, you'll be back in an hour. Two hours tops." Gary scowled from the sofa.

"Gary, why don't you butt out? Haven't you some other part of my life to be wrecking?"

Then both Noir brothers looked to Howard, waiting for him to side with one of them. For a horrible second, Vince thought the older man was going to side with his brother but instead he said;

"Maybe you could give us a minute Gary."

"Whatever. I'm going out anyway." Gary stood up and flounced off.

And then, they were alone.

"What's all this about Vince?"

Vince blinked, there was almost a hint of anger in his friend's voice as he spoke as though he was sick of being messed around by his friend.

"I can't be around all this anymore." Vince explained.

"All what?"

"You and… _him_." Vince spat that last word.

"I don't see what's so bad about…"

"Howard shut up." Vince cried. "Please. Listen to me."

Howard frowned but stayed silent, waiting. Vince took a deep breath;

"I love you." he said. "I think I always have, I just didn't realise before… or at least that's what my brain cell tells me. But it makes sense now. I used to get so annoyed when you used to chase Gideon around the zoo. I used let her touch my hair just so she wouldn't notice you."

"What?"

"And I know it was a stupid thing to do but I was desperate."

Howard frowned. "Desperate?"

"Desperate for you to need me… like I need you."

"But wh-"

"And" Vince interrupted, "when you said you loved me in the Tundra, I'm sorry I laughed but I wasn't ready for it and it was like everything I'd ever wanted had come true and I was either going laugh or cry. And when I invented those coconuts girls I only did it to make you jealous but I didn't work you just went and got moved in with that stupid nut."

"Fruit."

"I thought coconuts were nuts."

"I don't think so, fruit or seed I think."

"Well, it doesn't matter anyway. All that matters is that I can't bear to see you with Gary anymore. It just hurts too much but if you're happy with him then… I'm happy for you."

Vince smiled weakly, tears shining in his eyes as he cupped Howard's face, stroking his thumb over Howard's cheek.

Something inside Howard said 'don't touch me' but something bigger screamed 'don't let go'.

"Thank you Howard." the smaller man whispered, choking down the lump in his throat as the end of 'Howard and Vince' rapidly approached.

"For what?" he whispered.

"Just… everything."

Vince dropped his hand and picked up his suitcase, walking determinedly to the stairs. As he stepped down onto the first step, he looked back and said;

"Goodbye Howard."

He started to walk down the stairs. With every step he took, the tears pressed against his eyes with more and more force. He sniffed and swallowed to push them back but they were relentless and one or two began to leak from his tear ducts and stain his cheeks. He'd never thought this day would come. He'd always believed that they'd be together forever. Still throwing Satsuma's around when they were 90, still squabbling over clothes, fashion and music, arguing over whose Zimmer frame is better. He'd imagined all of that and more but he'd never imagined this.

He opened the shop door and the bell sounded his final exit. He sighed and looked around the shop, his vision was completely obscured by tears now but he didn't need to see. He knew what it looked like, empty and hollow. Full of memories, good times and bad but it was over now. The end of an era. He took a deep breath and stood up as straight as he could and made to take the first step of his life when a voice stopped him.


	5. Chapter 5

"What are you doing you batty crease?"

Naboo.

"Naboo?"

"Where d'you think you're going?"

"I'm leaving."

"You're not. Who's gonna look after my shop? I'm not leaving Howard in charge he's a muppet and Gary, well, the quicker he leaves the better."

"What?"

"Oh, he may fool Bollo and that idiot Howard but I can see through all this like it's a window."

"What d'you mean?"

"Gary, he just copies what you do but... better."

"Huh?" Vince asked, wiping his eyes as his tears began to dry.

"Look Vince, think back, think over everything in your life. Was there ever a time when Gary did the fashion first?"

Vince puzzled for a long time, a very long time, a very, very long time. Naboo looked at his watch and sighed but Vince still hadn't produced an answer.

"There hasn't been a time!" Naboo eventually exploded.

"Oh." smiled Vince. "So… what am I supposed to do?"

"I dunno." Naboo shrugged. "Get that brain cell of yours to work it out."

"Hmm." Vince nodded. His brain cell had been doing a lot better at all this working-things-out-buisness recently. Maybe it could come up with a plan without the use of a plan pony.

"_Umm, Gary? He always copies you… so you could, copy him. Yeah. That'll work."_

No. That's not it. Vince shook his head and Naboo rolled his eyes. This could take a while and he needed a drink.

"_Last time someone copied us we… out crimped them. Let's crimp them to next weak!"_

No. Gary's got Howard to crimp with now and everyone knows you can't crimp alone.

"_Well, what about coming up with some really terrible fashion?_"

Huh?

"_Yeah, we'll dress you up like a right lemon and then Gary will copy us._"

Oh. That just might work.

Vince grinned. He raced upstairs almost knocking Howard off balance.

"What are you…"

"Change of plan." Vince cut him off as he ran into the bedroom. "I'm sticking around."

Howard had heard of changes of hearts but this was quick, even for Vince. He chased the younger man into the room and was surprised to find him rummaging through the deepest corners of his wardrobe and more surprisingly… Howard's.

"Are you okay?" asked the older man.

"Yeah." Vince smiled. "I'm electric."

"Oookay. Vince?"

"Hmm?"

"Five minutes ago you were leaving and never coming back and now you're… what are you doing?" he asked, as Vince pulled out something from the back of Howard's wardrobe.

"Aha!" he beamed wrapping a brown piece of faux-leather around his stomach.

"What the hell is that?"

"Man corset." Vince beamed. "Remember this. Your birthday party, you and Lester dancing in the middle of the room."

Howard coughed and blushed, he'd tried to forget that particular embarrassment. "Yes."

"You went down like a genius!"

"I can't believe I let him talk me into… we did?"

"Yeah!" Vince lied enthusiastically. "Everyone was looking at you. You were attracted all the ladies. It's coming back in."

"Oh… well, I mean of course. Howard Moon is at the forefront of fashion sir."

"Yeah, definitely. Hey, have you got some of those sandals that I could wear socks under?"

"Well, yes but…"

"Cool."

"Vince are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah! I'm gonna look amazing."

"Okay." Howard agreed. He didn't know anything about fashion so he decided to let Vince get on with it. He left the room quietly and bumped almost straight into Gary.

"I thought you'd gone out."

"I did and now, I'm back. Vince go?"

"Well yes…"

"Excellent."

"…but he's back."

"What!? I thought it was forever."

"Change of plan, apparently."

"Change of… you're joking!"

"I'm not. He's in there now." He indicated their old shared bedroom and as Gary pressed his ear to the door, Howard tried to change the subject. "So, are you going to let me take you out to dinner tonight?"

"Shut up Howard."

"What?" The older man's face fell.

"Just shut up. I'm trying to hear what Vince is up to."

"What does it matter?"

"It matters because…" Gary fell silent. He couldn't say.

The truth was, he was jealous of his little brother. Vince had always been so… perfect. He'd always known the best place to buy a new coat. He'd always known the best music to be listening too. He'd always known how to be popular. Gary had hated him for it. He'd copied Vince's every move, improving it just slightly until people started to notice him. Over time he'd perfected his art, he'd drawn the crowds from Vince, he'd taken everything but Vince still shone like the sun on a summers morning. He'd still sing and dance his way around the Noir house. Even when defeated by everything, Vince was still irritatingly happy. Eventually, Gary worked out what it was that he needed to break his brother. It wasn't about spiting a brother anymore. Over time, the sibling rivalry and changed and evolved, grown, twisting and choking him like poison ivy, until it was a lifelong mission to hurt Vince and he thought he'd done it. He watched him over the last few weeks as he withered and died slowly and painfully but now, when he opened the bedroom door, he saw Vince skipping around the bedroom dressing himself in the oddest mash of colours Gary had ever seen.

"What are you wearing?" Gary exclaimed.

"It's the fashion." Vince beamed.

"It's hideous."

"It's retro."

"But retro's 80's, 70's at best."

"Not anymore, now it's all about the 50's. Baggy trousers orange roll necks and the ultimate in fashion accessories…"

"Oh?" Gary asked anxiously. "What's that?" Vince grinned, he could almost see Gary's brain getting out a note book to scribble down his answer.

"Man corset." Vince beamed, showing off his own (well, Howard's) with a quick spin. "You know, girls love a guy with tits."

"They do?"

"Yeah. And then you've got to top it off with a red beret."

"Red and orange?"

"Mh-hmm." Vince was struggling not to chuckle at Gary's naivety. He was drinking this rubbish down like warm cocoa. "It's all about clashing colours Gary! The more of a clash the better."

"Right. Cool."

--

"_Hey Howard!"_

"_You're up early little man."_

"_Yeah. Lots of reasons to get up early."_

_"Like?"_

"_Like… seed distribution. Porpoise derby. Painting a picture of Bollo. It's brilliant."_

"_Hmm."_

"_Howard?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_You know wine gums?"_

"_Mm?"_

"_Are they made with real wine?"_

"_What?" Howard asked on the brink of laughing in his friends face._

"_That's what Leroy said."_

"_Ignore Leroy. He also said glam folk would work, remember?"_

_"How could I forget?" Vince chuckled. "We were ahead of our time. We were on the voyage of discovery."_

"_You were on something."_

_Vince smiled. "Howaaard?"_

_"Yes little man?"_

"_D'you think we could make a band? You know, just us."_

"_Aren't I too old? Don't I dress too geography teacher-esque?"_

"_Well… yeah. But I could sort that out and teacher chic is cool, sometimes. You just need to learn how to accessorise. I'll be in charge of that, you can be in charge of instruments. The perfect team. Maybe Bollo could play drums… reckons he plays like Phil Collins. He's got a audition for a Dairy Milk advert soon."_

"_Hmm."_

_A strange silence fell over them for a moment and then Vince spoke up again, softer this time, less excitable."Are you happy Howard?"_

"_What?"_

"_You never seem happy here anymore. You're always really distant."_

_"Hmm."_

"_See. Like that!"_

"_Like what?"_

"_All this 'hmm-ing'. You never used to 'hmm'."_

_"Yeah… look Vince."_

"_What?"_

_"The zoo is…" Howard trailed off. He wasn't sure how to break this to his friend. He was sure he'd be heartbroken._

"_The zoo is what?"_

"_Umm…"_

_"Come on Howard, spit it out."_

"_It's closing."_

"_What?"_

"_It's closing."_

_"Forever?"_

"_Yeah."_

_Vince's face dropped for a moment and then brightened again with unrelenting optimism._

"_So, what are we going to do?"_

_"What?"_

_"Where are we going to live?"_

"_So we're going to go together?"_

_"Well… yeah, aren't we?"_

"_Yes, I mean. I guess so."_

_"Genius!"_

"_Genius?" Howard frowned._

"_Yeah, imagine the adventures we could have. Somewhere new… it's gonna be brilliant!"_

"_Yeah?"_

_"Yeah! To be honest with you, the zoo was getting a bit boring but…"_

_"But?"_

"_D'you reckon we can take Bollo with us?"_

_After that, Howard hadn't seen Vince for almost a day whilst he rushed about sorting out a flat and whether Bollo could come and stay with them. Somehow, Naboo had got involved and to Howard it had all become very complicated and very… domesticated. Howard began to feel like Vince was his wife as he ran around the place talking about blinds and 60's style sofas and open plan living space…_

"_It's all about open plan now Howard. Breaking the conventions of a normal house all the best house designers create open plan living spaces. Something about light and good chi; good energy bad energy."_

"_Right."_

_"This is going to be… genius!"_

_And Howard had been inclined to agree._

_--_

It wasn't genius now though; far from it.

Gary emerged from his room dressed in something very similar to Vince but as always with Gary, he'd upstaged his little brother making the outcome even better (or worse). Howard looked up as Gary posed proudly looking like a buckaroo, when you manage to get all the items on even thought the look makes no sense.

"Well?"

"Umm…" The older man stared, gawping like a goldfish. "Well, I…"

Personally, he thought Gary's clothes were brilliantly stylish, something Howard himself would wear but even he would admit it didn't suit either of the Noir brothers. The vibrant noisy patterns of the shirt were something Howard could pull off, though on skinny modish, indie-boy frames they looked ridiculous. However, Howard Moon was a good boyfriend so he told a suitable lie;

"You look amazing!"

"Thanks." beamed Gary.

And Vince, for his part, did the best bit of acting of his life. He strolled into the room eyed Gary's get up and let out a wrathful cry.

"I hate you!" he screamed. "You just stole my look! That was my look, _my _look! This is unbelievable! You may as well have this." he cried, throwing down the corset and storming into his bedroom. Just as he reached the door, he did took a sneaky look over his shoulder to see Gary pounce on the corset like a hungry tiger. Vince fell onto the bed and collapsed with giggles. Gary had looked like a right pillock; all clashing colours, man corset, Hawaiian patters and baggy corduroy trousers and go-go boots to finish off the look in 'style'.

Vince listened to the goodbyes, he winced at the sound of Gary kissing Howard's cheek and then guffawed loudly when he heard the door go. Gary was out in the world now, dressed like a tit. This was amazing. Vince quickly stripped out of his (well Howard's) horrible clothes and dressed up in the latest cat suit. Just as he was straightening the shoulders there was a knock at the door.

"Come in."

"Er… Vince." Howard started as he popped his head anxiously around the door.

"Hey Howard." he beamed, "Come in."

"Um, thanks." He felt nervous, unnaturally so. He stood uncomfortably near the door and wondered how to address everything that didn't seem to make sense. "Vince?"

"Yeah?"

"What's going on?"

"Huh?"

"Well, this morning you told me you loved me and that you had to leave. Then you change your mind and start prancing around in an outfit that didn't suit you."

"Didn't you like it? It was mainly your clothes."

"I know but you look better in this." he waved his hand limply towards Vince current outfit. "And do you love me?"

Vince frowned. This was weird. Howard hadn't even paused for a breath. That was usually Vince's trick for apologizing, fill the room with words and then just throw an apology in, let it mix with the story about a flying penguin and a marsupial who didn't like smarties, until is was swallowed away like an embarrassing secret. Now Howard was using similar tact. Talk about clothes, make Vince feel comfortable and then BAM - hit him with the ultimate question. Vince swallowed purposefully. He'd explained all this, told Howard everything, poured his heart out because he'd believed without doubt that he'd never see Howard again. He'd never expected this stilted, uncomfortable secondary conversation but there was no point in backing out now. He was, after all, here to win Howard off his brother.

"Of course I do." And without pause he continued. "Do you love Gary?"

"…Yes."

Vince beamed. There'd been a pause, a moment of doubt. Howard wasn't sure. He wasn't sure and that meant that there was something, or someone, causing a seed of uncertainty.

"Are you sure?" Vince pressed, he didn't know what Howard would say but he needed to press on the doubt.

"I… yes."

"Do you love me?" He felt brave and stupid all at once but Howard said nothing in response. Vince's heart jumped for joy beating a rhythm that screamed; _He didn't say no. He didn't say no._

"Howard." Vince started again but this time Howard was ready.

"Don't. I've been thinking a lot recently about us and about Gary and everything."

"Everything?"

"Well, yeah. There are times when, when I'm with Gary and it doesn't feel quite…right."

"I don't understand."

"I mean I like him. I love him but… I don't think he loves me and there's something wrong about the whole thing."

"Wrong?"

Howard nodded. He was staring directly at the floor, wriggling nervously rocking from one foot to the other. Vince thought his friend looked like he was in physical pain, as though there was some kind of battle going on inside him and he was waiting for the winner to emerge victorious and tell him what to do.

Vince stood slowly. Maybe this was his chance to sway Howard's internal battle a little bit. He spoke softly and kindly in a way Howard hadn't heard from Vince in a very long time and all he said was;

"D'you remember that time on the roof?"

Suddenly, something from deep within both their minds surged forward and a crimp began. About half way through Howard lost track of the words, there was something about life of death and about a kiss, kingdoms of gaydom, admission of love. But Howard wasn't really taking that much notice of his words anymore because, by now, Vince was mere inches away, stood on tiptoes, peering into his eyes. The smaller man's hand was on Howard's shoulder, providing them both with some much needed stability. They both felt like their legs would crumble like rivita at any moment and something felt weird and magical and wrong and beautiful and terrifying and exciting and everything else. Suddenly, Vince closed the gap and Howard gasped.

It was slow and sweet. It was everything Gary's kiss had and then so much more. Gary was great but Vince… Vince was perfect. He was slightly smaller, slightly skinnier, his hair was slightly longer and he kiss was so much better. He just seemed to fit.

Suddenly, a life time of memories and little clues starting fighting their way into Howard's brain, fitting together like a complex jigsaw that was his love life;

"_I'm in love with that woman."  
_"_You're going about this all the wrong way."  
"I stand by Mrs Gideon."  
"Who are you?"_

"_You're Fossil's bitch."_

" _This is hard for me to say but… I love you Vince."  
"I love you."  
_"_No you don't, you're just saying it because I did, it doesn't work like that, it doesn't mean anything."_

"_Did you love him?"  
_"_You say one more thing about Tommy and you're on your own here."  
_"_Did you kiss him?"_

"_So, you two out here on your honeymoon?"  
"No I think you got the wrong end of the stick there Jack."  
_"_Well, you know a man does get lonely out here in the woods… I'm talking about hoochi- coochi pants in there."  
_"_How long would you need him for?"_

"_Do you love me?"  
_"_Could you learn to love me?"  
_"_You must love me exactly as I love you."  
"Funky freedom, for marriage. Do you accept?"  
"I do."_

"_This is Precious Lilly White."_

"_Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Hello. I'm Eleanor."  
_"_I wanna pound you like yesterdays beef. I saw the advert!"_

"_I'm in love with someone already, I'm in love with Howard."  
_"_Prove it!" _

Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. The words reverberated around his skull, he was proving it now. He'd never need proof again. Something inside Howard's heart seemed to slot into place, like the final part of a jigsaw. This was what he was searching for. This was what had been missing, what had been wrong about Gary. This was... He jumped. A loud slam of the door broke his concentration and suddenly a voice was tearing through the flat;

"VINCE NOIR! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"


	6. Chapter 6

This was a moment Howard Moon never expected to reach in his life. He'd never even dreamed of such a thing. He probably wouldn't have been able to with his dream processing facilities but, as Gary and Vince crashed to the floor in what was possibly the least manly fight that had ever been, he couldn't help but grin. They were fighting for him; Howard Moon, man of action. Who was he kidding? He knew this day would come, he just didn't expect it to be his best friend and his best friend's brother who were involved in the catfight.

That's what this was, a catfight. There was no denying it as Gary all but screamed when Vince tore at a piece of his hair or as Vince's eyes welled up when a large tear appeared down his suit and the thing fell off leaving him semi-naked. Howard didn't really know where to look after that.

Vince leapt up and in just his boxers tore off across the room, Gary, in his corduroy disaster and man corset, scrambling after him. Howard, trying not to grin too proudly as the Noir brothers battled for his love, followed at a safe distance. By the time he reached the living room, Vince and Gary were doing a sort of weird dance from either end of the sofa, all flailing limbs and weird side steps.

Eventually, Vince legged it and ran straight into Howard, the older man tried to hold him steady but Vince ducked out of the embrace and scuttled the other side of him, peering over his shoulder so he could glare at Gary. The weird shuffling dance started again but this time, Howard had taken the place of the sofa.

"Look stop." Howard cried, just as Vince was about to make a run for it.

"No way!" snarled Gary, "I'm gonna tear all his hair out and then I'm gonna slash up all his clothes."

"Yeah. Well I'm gonna jab you in the eye with a chopstick!" He was never good at comebacks.

"Hmm, that would be mildly annoying."

"Shut up Gary! Just face it, I've won!"

"_Just face it, I've won."_ mimicked Gary, screwing up his face in disgust. "I'm gonna break your straightners."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Wouldn't I?"

"Enough!" Howard said, finally see this as the opportunity to step in and put some facts about. "Gary, you're a great guy but the timings all off."

"Are you dumping me?"

"No, let's not call it dumping, lets call it upgrading." Howard said, trying to be as gentle as possible.

"Upgrading?" Gary asked,

"Yes, to a better, younger, kinder, better looking model."

Vince was giggling helplessly by now. "Shut up." Gary shouted but at which one, none of them knew.

"All I'm saying, I think you should stop fighting over me." Howard said.

Suddenly, there was an almighty explosion as not one, but both, Noir brothers hit the floor in simultaneous heaps of laughter.

"Oh Howard, stop." begged Vince, wiping his eyes free of a few little laughter tears that had forced their way out, "Oh, you're killing me."

"Fighting over you." chortled Gary, glad of his man corset to stop his sides splitting.

"But I thought…"

"What?" asked Gary, "That Gary and Vince Noir were coming to blows over Howard Moon." More laughing that was on the brink of hysteria and Howard stormed off.

As the door of the bedroom slammed, the laughter subdued a bit and Vince eyed Gary warily as the older brother began to remove his man-corset.

"Sorry." Vince said to his knees.

"Hmm. Me too."

There was silence then, which felt neither comfortable nor uncomfortable, it just… was.

"Why did you come here?" Vince asked eventually, "You know we don't get on, we never have. I haven't spoken to you for years and years. I mean how did you even know I was here?"

"Naboo rang me."

"Why?" They were both sat leaning against the wall now, still breathing heavily from their fight and their laughing.

"He said you needed a wake up call with Howard. He thought that if all the material stuff was taken from you that you'd realise it wasn't important and if Howard was taking from you'd realise that he was."

Vince sat thoughtfully for a second and then smiled to himself.

"I can't believe you kissed Howard." he chuckled lightly.

"You kissed him."

"But I love him."

Gary smirked a little and said; "Well, duuuuuuuuurh!"

"What?"

"That was sooooooo obvious."

"What d'you mean?"

"That's been obvious since you were about 15. Mum rang me the other day and the only thing she asked about you was; 'Is he still bumming that Howard boy?'."

"Is that what she said?"

"She might have said courting, I can't really remember. I'm like you, I stop listening when the conversations not about me."

Vince smiled and then, "Why did you take Howard from me?" he asked it so quietly that Gary had almost thought he'd misheard.

"Huh? I didn't. You've got him now."

"No, I mean. He's… you know, he's… umm. Did you sleep with him?"

"Oh." smiled Gary. "No."

"No?"

"No. Don't get me wrong, we came really close but, well he wasn't ready and I didn't want to. I'm more into girls myself Vince, you know that."

"Just thought you'd do anything to be like me, eh?" Vince expected retaliation but what he got was;

"Well… you were always kinda lucky."

"What?" Vince blinked in utter disbelief.

"Yeah, your hair's always great even if you forget to brush it…"

"How dare you? This took ages."

"…and your clothes always look amazing, even when you're wearing clashing colours and a bloody man-corset." he said, lifting the offending item from the floor as though it were contaminated with some dreadful disease. "And, you met your soul mate at the age of about twelve. How lucky is that?"

"You don't believe it all that soul mate stuff, do you?"

"Not until I saw you and Howard together."

They talked for ages. Vince cursed Naboo for being so bloody cryptic ("why couldn't he just tell me I loved Howard?") and he cursed Gary for kissing and groping Howard when he knew that Vince loved him. They talked about fashion and Vince even offered a couple of tips with the express warning that if Gary upstaged him, Vince would hunt him down and turn him into a Rubik's cube.

After a while, the conversation faltered and stopped. They weren't the best of brothers and they certainly weren't the best of friends but when Gary said he was going back home, Vince felt a strange pang of loneliness.

"Anyway, I think you need to get in there and apologize to Howard."

"Hmm." agreed Vince.

"And you know that now mum knows where you live and more importantly how close you live, you're gonna have to come over for tea all the time."

"Yeah." sighed Vince.

"And when she finds out about you two, you're going to have to bring Howard." Vince groaned loudly. Gary smiled. "We all missed you, you know, when you left."

"What?" Vince asked.

"Yeah, you ran away to live with Howard, all we got was a postcard now and again saying you were still alive. There was definitely a void, where you should have been."

"I… I thought you all hated me."

"You were 16. Everyone thinks their family hates them at 16."

"But Dad always took your side and they were always having a go at me."

"I think they were worried that you were too happy, too optimistic. But look where it got you. Surrounded by people who worship you, living in a town you love with a man who loves you unconditionally. You're so bloody lucky."

Gary pressed a kiss into his brother's hair and went to pack up his stuff. Vince sat for a moment before finding Howard in the bedroom.

"Hey Howard." he said quietly. "You okay?"

"I'm fine little man."

"Sorry if we hurt your feelings. We didn't mean it. It's just… look, Gary didn't… I mean I… I'm sorry." he finished limply.

"It's okay." Howard repeated. "Did you sort everything out with Gary?"

"Well, not everything but I think it's gonna be okay. And he's going home so now it's all about me and you." Vince sat down next to Howard and touched his shoulder lightly, he was waiting for some kind of response but none came so Vince shuffled a little closer and rested his head on Howard's shoulder.

"I do love you, you know that, don't you?"

"Yes little man. I know that."

"And you are happy? Aren't you Howard?"

Howard smiled suddenly. "I'm ecstatic." he promised, turning to face Vince, "I love you."

Vince beamed back and leaned in for the kiss.

--

_The moon was big in the sky, singing some new rap it had invented about how stupid Saturn was. Far below were two zookeepers, watching the final zoo animals being led away by burly men with leads and cages._

_The smaller zookeeper was waving as a fox was dragged, hissing and scratching, away._

"_Say goodbye to your lover." he giggled._

"_Shut up." The taller of the two men smiled._

"_I'm gonna miss this place Howard."_

_"Mmm, me too little man."_

"_I thought we'd be here forever."_

_The taller man nodded his agreement._

"_We'll be together forever, wont we Howard?"_

"_Can't see me getting rid of you somehow."_

"_But will it be forever, forever. Or forever until it's over."_

_The taller, moustached man turned to look at his friend, marvelling at the way he seemed to shine in any light and whispered; "Forever, forever."_

_"Good." smiled the mod, shuffling closer and taking his man-of-action's hand in his own._

"_What are yo-"_

_"Don't let go." The younger man pleaded._

_So he didn't. And he never would again._

_

* * *

_

**Okay, so that's it. Over! **

**And that's seriously me done with Boosh fics for a long while. Because I really have to pass these lil exams that are so quickly advancing *sobs*. Also, I've written like 30 fics, so maybe it's about time I try and break the obsession a little bit. Lol.**

**I wanna just say thanks to absolutely everyone who's ever reviewed any of my fics… ever; especially Swisstony, Jantofan, xxpipxx, xXxBooshloverxXx, Roxxi Sanders, Shrink To Be, Izzy the Skittle and x Thursday Next x (who I think was the first person to ever review me) and everyone else who I've stupidly missed off this list. Also, thank you to everyone who's read anything I've written. That still amazes me! Lol**

**Anyway, at the risk of this sounding like one of those weird Oscar acceptance speeches, where the person is crying and thanking God and their parents… goldfish etc. I'm gonna stop.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Sisi…xx**


End file.
